3 Quarters Today

Adoptee Reunion Story

I consider the greatest gift someone can give is life and for one parent to give a gift of adoption to parents, who either cannot have children of their own or want to unselfishly add another child to their home, is one of the biggest gift of love. I was lucky enough to witness a father and son adoption reunion and it was amazing all the way around.

For various reasons, pregnancy, a baby, and a family does not fit and is not the right timing. So choices are made.  A choice made forty-eight years ago resulted in a baby boy (my husband) placed with a farm family in western Nebraska through Nebraska Children’s Home. Then the same baby boy made a similar choice twenty seven years later and gave the gift of adoption and love to another rural Nebraska couple.

During those many years, the father wondered what had become of his son.  He hoped to eventually meet him, hoped and prayed that day would come. The son too also longed to one day meet his birth father who had written him letters when he was a baby.

Neither officially searched for each other, they were both quite happy with their lives, yet through a course of events and random contacts, the unbelievable happened. After reading this story I dare you to think of the course of life to be a random act of coincidences.

An Adoption Reunion Story Worth Telling

Randy (on the left, my husband)  lived in a small apartment complex in Lincoln Nebraska. This small community of neighbors has provided each one acts of kindness in ranging from sharing meals, rides to the doctor, friendship, or just an encouraging word. This weekend Scott, who lives across the courtyard from Randy, called him over to tell him he had some news.

Scott was helping a buddy out with a car and through the course of this repair got a ride from Brandon (right).  Scott was struck my this young man’s presence and appearance and said the commonly stated expression,  “I know you from somewhere.”

The normal course of the conversation ensued, referring to places they lived, schools, churches, and people. It got around to Brandon stating “I don’t know, I’m adopted, all I know is my birth fathers’ name is Randy and he lives in Lincoln.”

It was then that Scott looked at Brandon and a said: “I know your Father, he lives across from me and you are his spitting image.” I can’t even imagine the thoughts and feelings that were going through their mind and heart. They both told me later it made them shake and their hearts race. Phone numbers were exchanged.

When Scott told this to Randy the feeling intensified. There was no doubt, no questioning in any of these three men. Each one believed that this good news was the truth. As Randy and I were fixing supper he received the phone call from his first born son who wanted to know his Father. They spoke for a short time, as it was obvious that both wanted to meet.

An invitation to supper was extended and less than an hour later Father and son walked across the yard, shook hands, and embraced for the first time. Both were shaking and tears were shed. The picture above was taken shortly after when they came to the door. The resemblance is uncanny, not just in appearances but in how much they are alike.

Both are amazing singers,  sang in their University choirs, both took nine years of piano lessons, love to fish (and have made arrangements to go fishing), are very good cooks, and are avid movie buffs with a vast movie collection. At times they have only lived a few miles from each other.

Father and Son Update

Since I wrote this story father and son have developed a strong friendship. They hunt together, fish together and our families are connected in many ways. An antique farming disc belonging to my husbands family now sits in the garden at Brandon’s parents’ house, connecting the families together symbolically.

There are many connections between all of the families and no one feels threatened. It is an amazing relationship.

Christian View of Adoption

I know many people who are adopted, including my self. Some have the negative viewpoint that they were rejected by their birth parents. I look it at as the biggest unselfish gift a Mother (and Father) can give. I am thankful for life, for being given parents who wanted me enough to go above and beyond, to accept the gift of life from other parents who loved their child enough to give them a second chance.

Over the years I have often thought of looking for my own birth parents, if for only to say “Thank You.” Another choice could have been made, and I’m so glad it wasn’t.

I don’t believe in coincidence, but that God has a plan for our life. There are people placed in our lives for a reason, so the work of God can be displayed. This was also the lesson I shared with my Sunday School students this Sunday and part of Pastor’s sermon. There are events that happen to remind us of Christ unconditional love and forgiveness.  We just need to open our eyes, believe, and have faith.

What lies in the future for these men is unknown, but they both know that this random meeting was not random, and both are embracing the amazing work of God.

Find Adopted Family Member

Whether you decide to search for your birth parents, siblings or child make sure you think it through, do research, and ask WHY are you searching. Is it because you are unhappy with your current lot in life because if so finding more people to insert into your world may complicate things, not solve the problem.

I went through periods, every time I was pregnant, where I was interested in health history. But when my babies were born that desire passed. Every now and then my kids ask me if I know my ethnic heritage and I can’t tell them. So, for them, I may consider it, before I get too old. (UPDATE: I did find an adoptive family member)

But regardless, every adoptee has a family and a Mother and Father who raised them. They are your true family.

Searching For Jane, Finding Myself (An Adoption Memoir)10 Critical Guidelines to Begin Searching for YourBirthright: The Guide to Search and Reunion forThe Adoption Reunion Survival Guide: Preparing Yourself for the Search, Reunion, and Beyond

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